i've come to a few realizations lately.
1. i can't write when i'm this stable. i guess most of my writing previously amounted to bitching...a catharsis of frustration. loneliness, jealousy, depression, illness - every vice was temporarily numbed and liberated through writing. now that i'm happy, it feels so much more difficult to communicate what i'm feeling. i stumble, smile and blush a lot more when people ask how i'm doing. on paper though, i'm an idiot. a very happy idiot.
2. i always considered myself inherently vocal. whether i'm writing or not, just a glance at my face can usually betray exactly how i'm feeling. right now though, my life feels peaceful and private. this is necessary for a lot of different reasons, not the least of which is self-preservation. vague, i know. i thought this would be more difficult, but so far it's only proven to be artistically inhibiting. i don't mind pressing my eyelids tight and quietly letting the corners of my lips ache with a smile.
3. i couldn't possibly do any of this justice. but i'll try. later.
bwhap bwhap! lataz.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
sweaty palms
sorry for the lackage of posts. been too busy living vicariously through myself.
FUN FACT:
i realized i have a hangover toothbrush. usually i invade my mouth with a battery-powered brush that makes my lips tingle. however, after a long night of drinking, i prefer to manually clean my teeth with an oral b in a sober shade of blue with soft bristles. i take care to floss hard, as if i want my gums to be the only voluntary swollen part of my body.
in other news
i'm totally smitten. i'm at that unbearably sweet stage of a potential relationship where you realize how incredibly vulnerable, and stupid you are. awkward, too. it's difficult to sound eloquent when i'm this ecstatic. it leads to uncomfortable moments that sting like denim on a sunburn. all of my senses are heightened, and i likely have a skewed perception of reality. yesterday i was prepping smoothies at work. this involves the inattentive process of chucking fresh fruit onto a scale. 4oz of ice, 4oz watermelon, 2oz mango. repeat. one of my coworkers then noticed that i had an impossibly large smile on my face. "why are you smiling?", she sounded aghast, and rightly so. "i'm sorry. i really don't know", i lied. "well you don't have to apologize...", but it was clear that i did. no one has any business being that blissful with latex gloves on.
yeah. i really wouldn't trade it for anything.
FUN FACT:
i realized i have a hangover toothbrush. usually i invade my mouth with a battery-powered brush that makes my lips tingle. however, after a long night of drinking, i prefer to manually clean my teeth with an oral b in a sober shade of blue with soft bristles. i take care to floss hard, as if i want my gums to be the only voluntary swollen part of my body.
in other news
i'm totally smitten. i'm at that unbearably sweet stage of a potential relationship where you realize how incredibly vulnerable, and stupid you are. awkward, too. it's difficult to sound eloquent when i'm this ecstatic. it leads to uncomfortable moments that sting like denim on a sunburn. all of my senses are heightened, and i likely have a skewed perception of reality. yesterday i was prepping smoothies at work. this involves the inattentive process of chucking fresh fruit onto a scale. 4oz of ice, 4oz watermelon, 2oz mango. repeat. one of my coworkers then noticed that i had an impossibly large smile on my face. "why are you smiling?", she sounded aghast, and rightly so. "i'm sorry. i really don't know", i lied. "well you don't have to apologize...", but it was clear that i did. no one has any business being that blissful with latex gloves on.
yeah. i really wouldn't trade it for anything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)